


Old Yellow Bricks

by buckynat



Category: Captain America (Comics), Captain America (Movies), Marvel (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Winter Soldier (Comics)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-31
Updated: 2014-05-31
Packaged: 2018-01-27 18:27:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1719086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buckynat/pseuds/buckynat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>21st century. James Buchannan Barnes has his memories free by Steve Rogers. Pain. Heartbreak. Loss. That's all the russians could show him in the years that he was an agent. The Winter Soldier. The guy who killed important american people on the Cold War. He was a ghost.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! This is my first fanfic about Bucky/Buckynat, and this is really weird. I mean, it's also the first time I write in English! I may post this fiction today. Hope you like it!

" **Old yellow bricks, love's a risk"**  Alex Turner. Such a clever guy. It goes to my list. Indie musicians. Very good. I think that he wrote this thinking about me and Natasha. The killer couple. The Winter Soldier and The Black Widow. For years, we were two of the most important weapon of the Soviet Union. But now we are free. We were saved by Steve Rogers, ya... that good guy that took pictures with kids on the Cap. America tour. We were best friends. I think that we still being, but... I don't wanna see him. I don't wanna see the ghosts of my past. Everything that I need is Natasha. Only her.

"I don't wanna do this" I said. "This is not an option, Soldier, serve your country. Hail Hydra!!" Then i heard this guy going away. I could not see his face, but his voice was really weird. 

"He has been to much time off the ice", he whispered to the other man. "Restart him."

"NO!" I shouted. "I'm not gonna do this!". But the man holded me and I just remember shooting a man. But he has not died. 

"James?" I heard some voice. "Have you been crying while you sleep??", said Natasha.

When I woke up, I just saw Natasha. I just need her. It's upsetting that she can't save me from my nightmares.

People dying. People that I killed. Civilians. Terrorist attempts. God. What have I done.


	2. Chapter 2 - Monster

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! New chapter! I hope this one is better, because I had more time to write it. I'm trying to develop my writing. Hope it's good as you guys deserve. Oh and I'd like to thank the 3 people that left a kudo on the first chapter, it's really important to have a motivation. Hope you guys like it.

‘’I'm only a man with a candle to guide me’’ Dan Reynolds, from Imagine Dragons, singed on my headphone. I was really sad, the nightmares are just getting worse. I try to forget them but they are shocking. I heard about dreams that are kinda mensages of Lord, but I don’t believe in it. Dreams are just ways to dribble our anxiety, pushing us to our inert subconscious. I was the man, the candle was Nat. I could ignore everything and just think about her, about our love story. Our  **killer** love story. Everything that we've been going through. Everytime the russians said that I couldn't be with her. But I've never heard them. If I could forget all those nightmares and just remember of her, I'd be a different man. Unfortunately, I can't.

I walked by the street, what a rainy day. New York was very different. I’ve never noticed that. When I was younger, before my father’s death, I used to run in the sidewalk and beat my colleagues. I was a fucking troublemaker. That’s why anyone was ever proud of me, maybe my sister. When I woke up, she was nearly dying. How can I lose everything this ‘’fast’’??? Oblivion called my name a thousand times, I bet. Another song that is almost about me.

But when I saw a kid running by my side, I decided to change my beliefs. That girl was running from someone. I saw it. On my dream. Now that I need it, I just forget it. Nice, James. I started to quietly go after her, I think she didn’t notice me. No one would notice. With my Russian training, I could run after the most suspicious man and he’d never notice me. She was very puffy, almost giving up, but I know how she feels. If someone’s running after you, you can’t even think of giving up. There are no choices. Run or die. That’s something that I learned when I was 16, no matter what, just run.

Someone jumped from the building’s roof to the alley. The girl just stopped when saw it. ‘’Alina.’’, a man said. ‘’Have you seen him?’’. ‘’Yes.’’, Alina said. ‘’Nice’’. ‘’Now, what will you do?’’, the little girl said. Now she didn’t seem that friendly. ‘’That’s none of your business’’, he said, then, he shot her. ‘’No’’, I whispered. That scene happened on my dream. And it just happened now. I just need to see his face. I need to solve this puzzle. I can’t live this agony anymore. And an innocent girl just died _right now_ , and I saw it.

My brief bag just falled on the wet floor. That was shocking.

‘’Oh’’, what a familiar face. That was my best friend. I was his sidekick during the war. **That was Steve Rogers**.

‘’A monster, a monster, I turned into a monster’’, that was the moment my iPod felled on the ground. You were right, Dan. In the end, all monsters are human. And, even if we don't want it to happen, there's no escape. Even if these humans are your friends. I tried to repress my pain, my tears. I wonder if Steve felt this same feeling while I was the Winter Soldier, a killer machine. I've betrayed him. And he had done the same to me. Steve. Just don't. Don't do it to me. I'm still your friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, that's not the BEST chapter ever, but I tried. Oh, and if you liked, left a kudo on the story and subscribe my acc. As I said before, It's important to have kinda motivation. Follow me on my Twitter for more updates on this fanfiction @badsteeldan. See you wednesday with a brand new chapter.


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